"Older"

I've been really struggling to come up with the words to write about a subject that has been on my heart since leaving Ethiopia. Its something that not a lot of people in our adoption circle talk much about and something that I was honestly a little clueless of until I saw it with my own eyes.

Older kids.

As young as twelve.

On the streets.

No family.

No hope.

No future.

I knew in my head that there were older orphaned kids in every country, but I just didn't reconcile the "knoweldge" of that fact with the "reality" of it. While I was living at Kad's orphanage, I had the blessing of interacting with the older kids there.

{Side Note: By older kids, I'm not talking sixteen, seventeen, or eighteen year olds. In orphanage terms, "older" means twelve to fourteen year olds. The very fact that being twelve years old classifies you as "old" is a tragedy in iteself.}

I would spend days singing with these kids, painting their fingernails, playing soccer with them. They had names -- "B" and "A" and "H" and so many others. They were sweet and smart, funny and outgoing. They would have me laughing so hard that I would forget the lack of sleep and stress of caring for a baby alone in Ethiopia. They loved Kad and would tell me stories about praying for him all night when he was sick and how one "older" girl, "B" (an eight year old) would actually go with him to the hospital so he wouldn't be alone. They are caring, wonderful, amazging kids.

...but they don't have families.

In fact, for three of them that I loved dearly, they never will.

How do I know this? Because I watched them age out of the orphanage while I was there. The big metal gates opened, and they walked out without the hope of a family or a future.

It sounds harsh, and it is. But, it isn't the orphanage's fault that this age-out process exists. Its mine. And yours. And everyone else who doesn't welcome one of these "older" kids into our home because they're afraid. Or because they wait and wait for a cute, cuddly baby.

I don't say this to condem anyone. Keep in mind that Mike and I waited eight long months for Kad's referral. I get sick to my stomach every time I think now about how many older kids walked out of those gates during that time. Please don't misunderstand, I know that babies deserve families too...trust me...I have one sleeping in the room next to me right now. And, when families pray about the child that God has planned for their family, I know that some times He directs them to check the "healthy infant" box on the agency application. I know that. But, I also know that sometimes He nudges our heart to stretch a little more than what we're comfortable with, and that can be a very scary thing to acknowledge and act on.

Our friends Mary and Bob are the first couple that made that fact so real to me. They started their adoption process intending to adopt one little girl with special needs under the age of three. God had drastically different plans. And, through their obedience, they are soon to be the proud parents of three kids from Ethiopia -- a three year old boy, a six year old girl & a nine year old girl! To say that their faithfulness is inspiring would be the understatement of the year. It has been such a blessing to watch their family story unfold.

While I was talking to Mary last week on skype (yes...that two hour conversation on Mike's birthday), she was telling me about meeting her kids for the first time. I cried as she described her girls running through the courtyeard and throwing themselves into her arms, showering them with hugs and kisses. These "older" girls, who waited for YEARS, dreading the next birthday that put them one year closer to the other side of those gates, just met their MOM and DAD.

And then, Mary told me about their oldest daughter's friend who watched from the sidelines all week, in tears, knowing that families for kids her age are few and far between. She was witnessing her fairy-tale moment...only unless she gets a miracle, there will be no happily-ever-after for her.

No body to run to across the courtyard.

No arms to fling her little body into.

No kisses & hugs.

No, "I love you so much" whispered in her ear.

It will never be her turn.

I don't know what the Lord is doing stiring this up in my heart all over again, but I know that He intends for us to pray for these kids, to advocate for them, to make others aware that they exist. That they, just like the cute cuddly babies, deserve a family.

We're not all called to adopt, but we are ALL called to love and care for orphans...of ALL ages. Please pray along with me about what our role is in loving these kids!